5 million years old and 4 km lenght. But visitors access only 450 meters of it.

It was a night of February. Things were pretty calm, winter was about the end.
But there is something in that time that fresh, I would say tranquil.

Like rain smells when you walk through the forest. What was that fresh, what was that all about.
I don’t even know it. In my mind all that things were stable, nothing was peculiar and scary.
I was on my pijamas and reading book of mine.

The book name was ’Owl of Minerva’. Book gets its name from Hegel: ‘’The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the coming of the dusk. Like Hegelian refer I wasn’t aware of my life changing dream yet.

On that February I fall sleep and had a dream. I was in millions year away. Was in cave named ‘lie world’
and on my dream there is siren accompanying with me during pass through in that cave.

On that dream I don’t see my self, yeah I was walking with siren. But there is no me on that dream
But one thing I know is siren is not me, but we were walking. But I see things through her eyes.
My brain was thinking like her, she were moving her steps in the cave, we take long road. Sometimes
I lost in dark, I feel she was there. I feel her.

She was suffering and when I feel that suffer I feel like she recover. And after recover she didn’t remember she was suffering by any pain or illness. And she did not know that I heal her. Only she feel was her walk is safe with me, but safeness is about keep walking not that she wasn’t alone.

Siren and me walk through summer hots, winter colds, springs freshes, and in fall relieve. Walk together with her, she stops sometimes play with bats, sometimes she touches cave icicles. Watching her but she didn’t now I was. I have a belief that she never hear me, and she doesn’t even exist. But I saw her real. But even I saw her, she never know me and hold my hand. Her tail kind of scare me.

She was smiling, in a moment she was in my eyes, she looked at me and smile, it was just
a second, smile was felt by me and I gotta feeling that she trust me and needs me till the end of cave. What was behind it. I was her pathfinder and her masculine siren? But why I was supposed be a siren. Even I am a boy. Why I am not to tell her my gender. And why she has tail how can we be together?

Why she did not feel that I am a men, and not feel I am not comfortable with her tail. With this thoughts we passed more than half of the cave. My questions are unanswered, my dizziness was on my head, even with that mental hardness we were keep moving on that journey.

Being unanswered make me more curious and sometimes I stop on some of rocks and sit there. I run into some angles but they were look like bats, wings were the same. I talked to them, they answer my questions like fortunetellers with orbs.

I asked that angle like bats as a teller: ‘is that siren really exist, or I am just assuming her’. Almost all of them says yes she exist and not want you to leave her. One said she want to be with you all life long after you guys exit from that cave.

But that teller also said but siren is in different cave not in yours. My stop and talking to angle like bats was like another dream in my dream. And when I wake up reality of being not in cave was tormenting me. My dubious head was suffering and my stomach also hurt.

But I was in the cave and so as siren. And we kept walking and siren was felt by me somehow. I felt her, and she feel me, I feel her hands. She smiles softly without looking at me.

She was smiling the beam light through hole in the cave. Step by step I was feeling we both exist and has separate entity. We were moving but paths are so knotty. Even the paths are end up unknown there is always beam was at the end. And in our way we saw a turtle.

Turtle has face that same as siren does. Her shell was protecting her. Why was this turtle even in that cave. How come? After all murmuring turtle suddenly answered. ‘’I am here because, I want to be here. My shell is protecting me, and been in that cave numb me with joy’’ she said.

I said cave is dark. She said looked at skylight, not to end of the cave. And we kept moving I saw a little small ears in sirens face, and all the sudden another angle wing like bat come to my arm and he said ‘siren has a older sister and that ears actually her big sisters ears’

And he said that ears never leave her alone, and those ears like turtles shell. And then both that ears and that turtle disappear. Sirens tail and her own ears shine in the cave. And after all I feel that she exist.
And I started questions to her.

Is there any another cave mate she had. She said no but used to be there is one. And there is another bat came to my arm and whisper me yes there is someone in that cave even now but you can’t see him.

I was surprised by that answer. How come I did not see him. Bat said you would understand that soon. Journey was getting so hard, be with sirens silent and ominous seducement was making me busy and have me forget to the been in cave. I was tired and walk at the same time.

We were about the winter. Days was shorter nights was longer. But does it really important in the cave, may be not. And all the sudden there was a spider come out, it wasn’t big though, siren let that spider on her tail, she said feel secure with it, spider and siren talk each other.

And spider ask her to climb with her somewhere not in that cave. Spider and siren went out somewhere familiar to me. Actually it was strange place somewhere I know but never been inside of it.

Then I wake up it was another dream in my dream. Siren was there and never been somewhere outside of the cave. But she did not tell me that she always in that cave never leave without me or by herself alone.

But my dream in my dream was painful evet it is not real. Then we kept moving. I was feeling we are getting out that cave. And I saw sirens hands on rocks, she acted like her head was spinning, and there is huge glowing light flashed in cave.

I was so calm but excited. After that flash I saw we are end of cave, the beam was 10 metres away. And I saw Siren and she turned as Dragon. She became him. And I asked him ‘who the hell your are and what the hack you doing here and her’?

She said ‘you had to face before you understand’: ‘’Cave was lie, so as Siren. There is never be a siren just me he said. All the sudden my mothers step sister come out and touch my arm and she said ‘you fine dear’.
My nonkin aunt was the first women take me on o her lap after I born. And I wake up.
And she said Sirens never walked and cave is only for reptellians and bats. And she added only
turtle was real, and that turtle getting know how to be strong first rather being safe…


Selcuk Uysal

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